This week!

Well, I haven't posted in a while. My week was a hectic mess of work and portfolio stuff and that's my excuse.

I had Monday off as well as Tuesday so I got to relax those two days. Monday I worked on portfolio and homework stuff.

Tuesday I took a train to Oakville and spent time at East Side Mario's with the gang! It was Jon's birthday and we celebrated it there! It was fun, and good to hang out with everyone outside a school environment. All in all it was a good day that day. When I got home that night I worked on my portfolio more.

Wednesday morning. Lois and I were driving on the 407 when suddenly we hear a wierd thumping noise coming from the back of the car. Lois pulls over to the side and gets out to check what it was... We had a flat tire. Luckily my class wasn't going to start until 11pm so it was okay. Lois called CAA and they came and put a donut tire on just to get us into Oakville. Then I got to school. At school I had 2d and painting. In 2d we worked on our personal map projects and in painting we did collage... stuff. Which I thought was a complete waste of my time because there was nothing I could use it for.

Thursday morning. I had to wake up at 5 am to catch a train in because Lois couldn't drive me. I didn't sleep well at all the night before and kept waking up every few minutes. So naturally I was really tired as I commuted. Finally I arrived at school after being cold and sitting on a train/bus for 1 hour and 30 minutes. I was 30 minutes early for English. Went into the class and sat and waited. English was boring, we little mini 5 minute presentations and then were alowed to leave. After English I went to the pit and worked on my life drawing homework which was a grey paper figure drawing with white and black pencil crayons. At 3pm it was time for Life Drawing. I went and sat down. Turns out we were going to do a really wierd drawing with scewed perspective and overexaggerated proportions. Namely Really really big feet and a tiny tiny head. It was incredibly odd and I really didn't like the look of what I drew. Jon was having a bad day that day and his portfolio bag broke so I fixed it for him with my keyring. I was hoping that I could help him in some way but I don't know that I did. I like cheering friends up, it makes me sad to see them sad. Anyways, after drawing I started my commute home and finally got home and went to bed.

Friday morning. I had to wake up at 5 again! Lois's car still wasn't fixed. Such a pain I must say. So after commuting in the even colder and windier weather I got to class. I had Drawing Systems. We started a project using markers to draw some objects. Its like practising drawing textures. It was cool though I didn't get much done. After that we went to lunch. Gee lunch was odd.. Well not so much odd as awkward and a tad upsetting. It was Janet, Stacy, Linda, Andrew and I. Jon was coming a little later. We had picked a table and sat down. I realized when we had sat down that Jon needed a spot. I told Linda to move over but I couldn't get out to get a chair for Jon. So anyways after eating and talking for a little Jon comes by. As he goes to get a chair his pasta falls all over the floor! I immediatly feel terrible. If only I had asked Linda to move and gotten a chair that wouldn't of happened! Jon was still in a sad mood today and I felt bad that now this happened on top of everything else. When Jon left to go get some more salad I grabbed a chair and the rest of his food and set it up for him. I was just hoping he wasn't taking it all badly. I can understand how it could be taken wrongly. Anyways Jon came back and we continued to eat. I had finished and mentioned that I needed to get to class. And to my surprise and sort of sadness, everyone got up to join me. Jon wasn't done though and I didn't want to leave him. However I had to. Great I thought, just what Jon needs, being abandonned by everyone. So I left, though reluctantly. And went to Fantasy class. We had an exam in fantasy and I was done after 1 hour and a half. Once I left I got a text message from Jon. He said he was feeling worse and that the movie he was watching wasn't making him feel any better. I suggested skipping and talking with me but he said he'd rather stay in class and meet me at 2:40. So I went to the pit and worked till he arrived. Then we went to the main doors and chatted for a while. I learned that everything I had thought might happen in terms of Jon reacting badly to all the situations during the day was true. He wasn't feeling the best. I did my best to try and encourage him and get him looking at how he reacted and how it was all just everything piling up and overwhelming him. I don't know that I helped all that much but I tried. Then I caught the bus to the station. When I got to the station the train was just about to leave! So I ran as fast as I could and just as I leapt through the doors they closed behind me cutting me off from my other friend who was taking the same train. It was too late now and I waved as the train started on its way. Finally I got home. Turns out my sister's birthday was today! And I had totally forgotten the date and even how old she was >.> College eats my sense of time! Anyways, I helped clean up for her party then came up to my computer and started working on portfolio stuff again.

Gee, what a week eh? I guess as you can see my friends tend to be at the forefront of my mind when I noticed something isn't right. I do my best to help them overcome whatever is ailing them. Even though I know that sometimes there's nothing I can do but listen. I like listening, I enjoy helping, and seeing friends smile after they've had a bad day makes me feel good. I'm just that kind of person. I'd rather see people smiling. Now if only I had someone like me... for me. Heh, seems when I need someone to talk to no one notices. And you know what? That bothers me. At least some of the time. I mean, I know that people can't read minds.. but I wish they'd pay attention to feelings more often. I tend to notice feelings a lot, its just what I do. I can tell when someone is upset, annoyed, frustrated, happy etc by small things I noticed. The occasional glance at a person's face tells me a lot most of the time. It's easier to tell things about people when you know them of course. But its relatively easy to recognize things in people I don't know.

Anyways, I derailed. Sometimes I just wish that I could be looked after I guess. Even though I may seem chipper and happy usually that's just a front. I'm not nearly as optimistic or confident as I may seem. I'm really just quiet and sometimes down right pessimistic. Especially when I'm in a bad mood. I dunno, its kinda hard for people to help me if I bottle it up all the time. Which is what I do, I put it away and let it overwhelm me when I'm alone. Maybe I'd just rather seem like a strong person when I'm around people, even though sometimes I really don't feel that way at all. Been putting away feelings like that since middle school. I hated being laughed at and crying never got me anything when I was in middle school or high school. People didn't care, so I tried to learn to deal with it on my own. And though I cope alright... I really do wish someone was able to recognize when I was sad. Even though I try to hide it so well. I just wish sometimes that people could read my feelings better. Just sometimes, because even I have things that I don't want people to know.

Anyways, that's it for today... back to work for me.